Hedy Folmer Passes Away in Massachusetts

Hedy Folmer, born of French and Polish heritage on October 21, 1923, passed away peacefully on December 31, 2016 while residing at Fairview Commons, a Nursing Home in Great Barrington, Massachusetts. She lived her early years through the end of WWII in France until she emigrated as a "war bride" to the U.S., living most of her remaining years in Trenton and Lawrenceville, NJ. Hedy (known as Edwige in French and Jadzia in Polish) lived her life with courage, determination, and deep compassion from her early years in France, working under cover for the French Resistance, to the day she died when she donated her body to the Univ. of MA Medical School, Worcester, MA for the advancement of medical science.

Brought up as an only child in France (her father died from TB when she was 4 and her brother was sent to be raised by her uncle in Poland), she spent her early years without a home base -- living in a Chateau in Lorraine where her mother was a Chatelaine ("Keeper of the Keys"), a Convent for her board and education, and inatermittently with her Aunts and Uncles in the French countryside helping with farm chores or in Paris responsible for watching her younger cousins.

When WWII broke out, she joined the French Resistance taking life-threatening risks while riding her bicycle during the night to distribute flyers and news to homes and businesses. As was the ritual, she carved the Cross of Lorraine on her shin that identified her as a "Resistance Fighter." She helped distract the Germans so Moltov Cocktails could be thrown at the tanks; hid bottles of wine in the Loire Valley's caves to keep the Germans from stealing them; walked miles on a broken bone above her ankle after her village was bombed; was forced to live in a "displaced persons" camp until the end of the war when she faced multiple struggles to find her way home to her family in Paris.

After the war, she met Sgt. Stanley Folmer, a Polish-American soldier stationed in Paris at the end of the war, working for the OSS. They married that same year at L'eglise de Madeleine. Her wedding gown and veil were made of parachute silk, and Sgt. Folmer's Army buddy, who was a tenor for the NY Metropolitan Opera, sang "Ave Maria" at the church service. They lived in Paris until Sgt. Folmer was shipped back to the US. "Edwige," followed on the last military ship reserved for war brides, the "Jarrett M. Huddleston," entering this country on December 6, 1946.

Hedy lived most of her remaining years in Trenton and Lawrenceville, NJ, which, as an American citizen, she embraced proudly as her home, falling in love with the rich agricultural countryside, loving the NJ seashore, embracing the vibrant Polish community where "Stas and Jadzia" resided in Trenton for many years, and raising their 3 children following both Polish and French customs.

Hedy, who spoke and could write in four languages fluently (French, Polish, English, and German) struggled to self teach herself English upon entering the U.S. She worked multiple part-time jobs to help support her family; proudly graduated from a school of cosmetology becoming a certified beautician working at Bamberger's Beauty Shop in Princeton; and in her later years, after passing the Civil Service test (a matter of great pride to her!) she worked full time as an employee for the State of NJ, from which she retired. For a short period, she also served as a Polish interpreter for the NJ court system.

Hedy felt strongly of immersing her family in this country's rich heritage, travelling with them across the country by car and camper to visit historical sites and national treasures. They also traveled (by ship and prop jet in the early years) to France and Poland to visit her mother and relatives; in later years, they enjoyed travelling around the world until her husband died in 1989.

For many years, Hedy and Stan were members of the Polish Arts Club of Trenton. They strongly believed that their membership helped them preserve their Polish culture and heritage, attending the annual Polonaise Balls, where both their daughters served as the required Polish "Pages" before they were presented to Polish society as Debutantes the following year (1969 and 1972) at the Balls held at the War Memorial Building in Trenton, NJ. They attended many of the functions held by the Club, including the annual barbecue at the homes of the Daunis family, also active Club members, in Ocean City. She was also fortunate to have many good friends who were members of the Polish Arts Club, especially her dearest friends, Vera (Bazylak) and Fred Doolittle, and Lynn and Jim Faherty.

Hedy was a member of St. Hedwig's Parish in Trenton. After her husband died, she moved to Lawrenceville and joined St. Ann's Parish where she was pleased to make good friends who met weekly after Sunday Mass in the church's reception area for coffee and conversation. She also enjoyed the companionship and events of the Senior Citizens Club of Lawrenceville.

In 2010, Hedy slowly succumbed to Alzheimer's disease and was moved by her children first to an assisted living facility in Lenox, MA, located close to her son's family. Her last 14 months were spent in a nursing home in Great Barrington, where she was well cared for by the dedicated staff at the facility. She died peacefully during her nap while sitting in a comfortable wheel chair provided by the local Hospice, in front of the nurses' station where she liked to visit with all those who passed by doing their daily duties.

Hedy was sadly preceded in death by older brother, Roman Bartecka, who died in a fire at the age of 18 while boarded at a military school in Poland, when, during WWII, the Germans burnt the school to the ground. Her husband, Stanely E. Folmer, left her a widow when he died of cancer in his late 60's. Her first granddaughter, Jennifer Cakert, died suddenly of unknown causes at the age of 26.

She is survived by her three children and their families: Cynthia Cakert Walker and husband, Bob Walker; Bernadette Bannister and husband, Patrick Bannister; Jeffrey Folmer and wife, Eileen Flynn Folmer; and grandchildren Jonathan Cakert with his wife, Marta Cakert and great grandchild, Charles Cakert; and grandchildren Maura, Shannon, Claira, and Matthew Folmer. She is also survived by her dear cousins and their families in France: Edmond and Henri Drziewicki and Jean Pierre and Charles Krzekowiak.

A funeral Mass will be held on April 22 at St. Ann's Church, 1253 Lawrenceville Road, Lawrenceville, N.J. The family encourages those wishing to express their condolences to meet with them at the Church at 10:30 a.m.; Mass will begin at 11 a.m.

Donations honoring her memory may be made in her name, Edwige Hedwig Folmer, to your local or the national American Red Cross or to Covenant House.

The Polish Arts Club extends our heartfelt sympathy to the Folmer family. Hedy will be missed by all.